Dear Friends,
Today, my topic is going to be on body image. How we view ourselves and why, and how to see yourself as beautiful (which, for the record, is what each and every one of you already are.) I know this is something I have touched on in the past, however I have more so talked on my own personal experience. Today, I am wanting to expand this thought into something bigger, something potentially more relateable.
To start off with, what is body image? Well, to be extremely literal, body image is, "a person's perception of the aesthetics or sexual attractiveness of their own body. It involves how a person sees themselves, compared to the standards that have been set by society." (thank you, Wikipedia.) The term or phrase "body image" was actually coined by an Austrian neurologist and psychoanalyst named Paul Schilder in his book, "The Image and Appearance of the Human Body." The psychology behind it is this, human society has at all times placed great value on beauty of the human body, but a person's perception of their own body may not correspond to society's standards. Well, when you put it that way... how the heck is that fair? Oh yeah, it's not. The fact of the matter is society's view of what's hot and what's not is ever changing. If we are constantly comparing ourselves to what society wants, we will only end up exhausting ourselves, and we'll never win. You could have a crush on Bobby down the street, but Bobby doesn't like you because you're too fat. So you work out allll summer and BAM you've lost 15 lbs. Well... that's too bad, because now Bobby thinks you're too skinny. I know, that was a super lame analogy, but do you get what I'm trying to say? If you take anything away from this post, take this -- society's standard is unattainable. Unachievable. Never will you ever have the "perfect body" in the eyes of the world around us. You have to view yourself as beautiful before anyone else is going to see it. It sounds harsh, but it's true. If you see somebody with thick thighs, embracing the body that God has given her, your reaction isn't going to be negative, it's going to be, "Wow. That is awesome. You freaking go, girl."
Which brings me to another point, us wanting what we can't have. Let's not kid ourselves here, we allll have that one person who has that 'perfect body' that we want oh so badly. Like Kathy who goes to your gym. I mean come on, HOW does one have legs so perfect? Or it could even be a friend. Someone who's just a liiiittle bit slimmer than you. Who's just a couple pounds less than you. Or sometimes even the other way around! Maybe you want to gain a little weight, maybe you do feel too skinny. This, friends, is what leads to a disorder known as 'body dysmorphia'. Scientifically identified as a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of your own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore excuses exceptional measures to hide or fix this 'dysmorphic' part of your figure. Alll of this, but here's the kicker -- the flaw is imagined. Created by us. All by ourselves. Doesn't it just shock you when it comes to how powerful our minds really are? They can actually make us see something that isn't really there? It's so sad that something that can be so beautiful and have so much power over us can be used in such a harmful way, without any of us even being able to realize it. This is something that anybody can suffer from. It's something that can be related to anyone in any stage of life whether it's mild or severe. & it's a disorder that can lead to something even worse, like anorexia nervosa, 'an eating disorder, characterized by low weight, food restriction, fear of gaining weight, and a strong desire to be thin.' or bulimia nervosa, 'an emotional disorder involving distortion of body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight, in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression and self-induced vomiting, purging, or fasting.' and so many others. All of which are running with a common theme, the victim thinking they are overweight, when in fact, they are typically underweight.
I know this looks grim. However this blog post is notttt over yet, people! There IS good news. If you are reading this, and any of this applies to you even in the slightest, keep reading!
I think I will start by saying that none. of these. thoughts. are. true. None. Nada. Referring back to our mind, it is so unfortunate to know that the devil has the power to plant these thoughts into our brain. He is probably LOVING on society and how easy it is to get young girls or whoever it may be to think a certain negative way about themselves. Well I will be the first to give you the 'uh duh' point: DON'T. LET. HIM DO IT. Push these thoughts away! Shove 'em out of your brain and send them on their way. They do NOT belong there. PERIOD. Tell yourself, every stinkin' day that you are beautiful, you are enough, you deserve everything that you've worked for in your life. Your weight along with your physcial appearance does not define who you are.
Second, don't be afraid to go see someone. I know that's the scariest option, and it's something nobody ever wants to do, but you just have to ask yourself why it scares you? What is holding you back? Are you afraid of what people will say? "Oh yeah I heard that Stacy started going to therapy because she's trying to better herself along with her quality of life. What a snooze-fest." Okay if somebody really said that they have no place in your life anywaaay but I have no idea what is up with this stigma around going to therapy and seeing a psychologist. The only thing I have to say about it is that it has got to stop. These people, making the bold decision to help themselves, is something that should be applauded, and recognized in a positive way. If you have a friend who has made the decision to go to therapy, or a couple that has decided to seek counseling, TELL THEM YOU ARE PROUD. In fact, go OUT of your way to do this. Even just a simple text could give them more of the reassurance they need that this isn't something they need to be ashamed of. I could go on and on about this but I am swaying waaay off topic here, so going back to the point here. Making the brave decision that this is something you have decided has gotten out of hand, and you need to seek advice, YOU GO GIRL (OR GUY). Seriously. you. go. I will be your own personal cheerleader every dang step of they way. :)
Third, and this point is very important, and something that so many people simply don't think about. This being that just because your body isn't exactly how you want it to physically look, doesn't mean that you're not healthy! There are thick bodies that are healthier than skinny bodies, and vice versa. Don't let society convince you that you're unhealthy just because you have a bigger waist than that Victoria's Secret model. As long as you are taking care of yourself, eating right, exercising, nurturing your mind, you are doing just fine! Remember this!!
Okaaay next up on my list, and y'all knew this was coming if you've followed my blog for awhile, but you. are. God's. CHILD. He made you so dang perfect it should blow. your. MIND. I realize I am typing with so. many. periods. right now. BUT. you need to understand the magnitude of this! The perfect, holy, God, created you in HIS OWN IMAGE. "I knit you together in your mother's womb." "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." "and God created man in His own image." I could go on and on and ON. It doesn't matter how thick, how small, how short, how tall you happen to be, you are HIS. He would never look at you and say, "you're too skinny," or, "you're too fat," in fact, He would take one look at each and every one of you and say, "you, My child, are perfect. Exactly the way you are."
aaand that my friends, is where I will leave you. I think the last thing I really want to drive home with you all is to take these points seriously. Act them out. Highlight those Bible verses, book that therapy appointment, give yourself those daily affirmations, and for goodness sake, eat the dang piece of cake already!!! I promise you'll still be just as beautiful after that last bite. :) Take heart, be strong. Love yourself, love your body, because the most important person in the entire galaxy already loves you, and at the end of the day, He's the only one who matters.
Sincerely, Mir
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